Relationships, Babies, and Luck

WHY DO THINGS CHANGE IN A RELATIONSHIP AFTER HAVING A BABY?

After the baby came, I no longer mattered. I also feel like my boyfriend is constantly on my back, overprotective and controlling especially when it comes to our child. When I was pregnant, he was barely there for me,. He would allow me to take the train and bus late nights and to my doctor’s appointment. I didn’t notice him stepping up until I exposed him to my mom and his brother, who both were very unhappy as to how he was acting. Now that the baby is here, he has made comments such as “I am only here for the baby, if it weren’t for the baby I would have left already”. I am not happy with how he talks to me and he says things like “you are a clown” or you are so dumb” or the fact that he doesn’t value my business or respect what I do for a living (entertainment marketing) because I am self employed. Just the other day, he had the schedule for my convention up on his computer and when I got home late, he tried to make me look like a bad mother when it took me almost 2 hours to get home on the train. When it comes to me depending on him (for a ride) he gives me a hard time and prefers for me to make advance plans with him but when it comes to his affairs, I am expected to just roll with the punches and do things to his liking otherwise a big heated argument will break out. He isn’t friendly and when he gets upset, he becomes enraged. the scariest part of this all is that he has said that he is only here for his daughter and now it shows, We are not affectionate. He only pecks my lips when he leaves for the day. He shows me and has said that he is only here for his daughter, father and family. I am not part of the equation and when I asked him why he would say such as thing, he said because I don’t have his back. I replied by saying, that I allow him to stay here (in my apartment) regardless of his shortcomings (he pays rent late when he can and gives me attitude on top of it when I ask for it). I go to church and am trying to become a better person and he puts everything before God and uses fowl language. i said that I wanted to move to a different part of town and he said “good luck , I will visit you guys, I am not moving to that part of town”. Am I wasting my time? I try to make things work, that’s just my nature. Please help.

Why does the relationship change after giving childbirth?

After the baby came, I no longer mattered. I also feel like my boyfriend is constantly on my back, overprotective and controlling especially when it comes to our child. When I was pregnant, he was barely there for me,. He would allow me to take the train and bus late nights and to my doctor’s appointment. I didn’t notice him stepping up until I exposed him to my mom and his brother, who both were very unhappy as to how he was acting. Now that the baby is here, he has made comments such as “I am only here for the baby, if it weren’t for the baby I would have left already”. I am not happy with how he talks to me and he says things like “you are a clown” or you are so dumb” or the fact that he doesn’t value my business or respect what I do for a living (entertainment marketing) because I am self employed. Just the other day, he had the schedule for my convention up on his computer and when I got home late, he tried to make me look like a bad mother when it took me almost 2 hours to get home on the train. When it comes to me depending on him (for a ride) he gives me a hard time and prefers for me to make advance plans with him but when it comes to his affairs, I am expected to just roll with the punches and do things to his liking otherwise a big heated argument will break out. He isn’t friendly and when he gets upset, he becomes enraged. the scariest part of this all is that he has said that he is only here for his daughter and now it shows, We are not affectionate. He only pecks my lips when he leaves for the day. He shows me and has said that he is only here for his daughter, father and family. I am not part of the equation and when I asked him why he would say such as thing, he said because I don’t have his back. I replied by saying, that I allow him to stay here (in my apartment) regardless of his shortcomings (he pays rent late when he can and gives me attitude on top of it when I ask for it). I go to church and am trying to become a better person and he puts everything before God and uses fowl language. i said that I wanted to move to a different part of town and he said “good luck , I will visit you guys, I am not moving to that part of town”. Am I wasting my time? I try to make things work, that’s just my nature. Please help

Tennis Section: F.R.I.E.N.D.S Happy Valentines Day?

Few days left for 14th Feb & Valentines Day is celebrated more than Independence Day now a days lol…Basically it’s a day of love & I blv u don’t really need a single day for acknowledging ur love for someone bt anyway love doesn’t only mean ur love for ur partner or the special person in ur life….bt it applies to all relationships whom u love ( well tbh that’s how I see it)!
FRIENDSHIP is one such relationship which have lots of LOVE in it!!!!! & I can vouch that in the whole YA,Tennis Section members has best friendship bond among them
(we may don’t know each others language bt we understand what they want to say….
we might have different favorite players bt we wish others favorite good luck….
we may argue but we never fail to say sorry….
we might sometime hurt each other bt & bcoz we love them)

So this is dedicated to all my tennis section friends…

“People come and people go,
In and out of your life and so,
When one shines bright among the rest,
And is there when needed, you’re truly blessed.
That is how I see you, friend of mine,
And why I’m sending this Valentine.”

To make this ques a lil interesting I thought about something…..One of my fave tv series ever was FRIENDS & the famous 6 characters in them….RACHEL,JOEY,MONICA,CHANDLER,PHOEBE & ROSS who are best friends!!! Hoping u all know about it & if not then u can go through it…. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friends

So what I want u all to do is to choose 6 of ur TS friends after these 6 characters 4m FRIENDS….sex doesn’t matter here (like u can make any female friend…..Joey/Ross/Chandler who are male characters) bt friends ur choosing need 2 be ur closest 6

Hope u all will enjoy it & once again HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL MY FRIENDS OVER HERE <3

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BQ: If u have to send 2 tennis players(1 male & 1 female) in a valentines date whom they will be???
BQ: If u have to send 2 tennis players(1 male & 1 female) in a valentines date whom they will be???
@Mexi :Well it’s ok the tv series doesn’t matter…the friends matters

@JBP: Thnx Where were u! Ru bzy or smt!!! Neither ur that regular here nor u visit xat…missing u frnd!!! Plzz visit more & the the lyrics of ur song is absolutely suitable for us…so thank u for that

Girls, Would You Like This?

So this girl I am interested in is from another country. She is out of town for an athletic event. We have mainly texted each other over the past few days, and really, I am not sure if we will start dating or not, but I am just trying to take it slow and be cool about things.

I wanted to send her a text tomorrow wishing her good luck, and how I wish I was there to watch.

Well, I spent at least an hour (the time doesn’t really matter) figuring out the translation from english, to her language so that I could send the text to her in her language. My phone doesn’t have it, so I had to figure out the conjugation and right translation for it to make sense. It might not actually make a ton of sense, but I think she will know what I am trying to say, which sort of makes it funny too, because some of the words turned out funny.

Do you think she will like the fact that I did that? I thought it was different and that she might think it was thoughtfull.

Advice on long distance relationships? Will it work?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over 6 months now…
However, we met on the internet, and we live really far away.
First let me explain;
This guy lives in turkey and I know that most guys you meet on the internet you can’t trust , but this guy is so different. I feel like it’s destiny that we found eachother-hes everything I want in a guy. We met on a language website: I was trying to learn more turkish, he more english.
He’s : funny, soo cute, we share similar interests (such as traveling, we like the same food, the same sports), hes an amazing soccer player, & the best part: he’s NOT LIKE OTHER GUYS. I mean, consumed by sex… He’s very conservative, never talks about sex! , never asks me to do any sexy things on webcam or anything like that. He’s always worried about me, he sends me text messages wishing me good luck on tests or reminding me to take care of myself if it’s cold outside, he always checks the temperature No matter what happens, he’s ALWAYS THERE. even when we get in stupid fights over his jealousy, it only lasts maybe at the most 10 minutes and we just tell eachother how much we love eachother. And I love a person thats like that Also,When im leaving or taking a vacation and I tell him we can’t talk for a week or so, hes fine with it maybe a little sad, but both times this has happened i’ve come back to an e-mail ‘diary’ of how his days went without me and how terrible they were, and how much he loved me.
BUT…Heres the cut backs:
-we’ve never met, (obviously) although he’s sacrificing everything he has in turkey to come to canada. He talked to his parents about language school and they’ve accepted, he’ll be coming here this july.
- language barrier is a bit of a problem. I know intermediate turkish (my dads family is turkish) but he knows 0 english.
- He’s extremely jealous. telling me to delete every guy on my facebook,phone,etc. He tells me dont look or talk to any boys at school. He told me that once he’s in my life, that’s it, no other males. Which is hard for me because before I met him I had a bunch of male friends. I try to tell him that I dont love them, i just like their company, but I love him more than anything, and he still doesn’t want me to talk. I asked him if he doesnt trust me and he says he trusts me alot. is he lying? :s he told me he doesnt ever look at another girl, he took them out of his life and im the ‘first and last’ woman for him.

all in all, he is just a really amazing guy. He says he’ll do anything for me, and when he comes whatever I want he’ll do it. I just love him so much and I know that we’ve only been together for 6 months but I feel like I want this to last a lifetime-hes the IDEAL guy (-the cutbacks, but no one is perfect, right?)

can I get just someones output- do u think this will work?? What’s the deal behind the jealousy?can anyone share a similar story? I know thats alot, but thank you.

Why do some think?

Why do some people here think it is better for a child to remain in their counrty of birth no matter what?

Let’s say a child is in an orphanage because they have been abandoned by their birth parents. No one knows who their family is or if they even have one. There is zero chance of the child ever being reunited with their bio parents. They have been passed over for domestic adoption. (In our daughter’s case she had a facial deformity that is considered bad luck in her culture so the chance of someone adopting her domesticaly was next to zero)Their only future is to age out of an orphanage if they stay in their counrty of orgin.
The other option is to be adopted by a family in another counrty. Yes they will grow up in a different environment with different customs and a different language but they will also grow up being part of a family.
Can you please explain to me how a life in an instituation is better than a loving family even if it is in a counrty?
Sunny, I know there are no guarentees of a happily ever after if adopted but I still stand by my convictions that a child at least deserves a shot a ‘happy family’ life.
I do not agree with Madonna’s adoption and do no look up to Ang either.
My daughter was ABANDONED at the side of the road. There is NO family to be found. I didn’t take her away from anyone-THEY LEFT HER.
Yes I agree that adoption needs to be changed but why should children have to grow up looking at 4 dark walls with no one to answer their cries or tend to their needs in the meantime.
Until you have been to an orphanage overseas you have NO idea what it is like.
Let’s talk about culture for a moment too. I agree it is best for a child to grow up in their country of birth. But for a child growing up in an orphange just how much culture are they really exposed to? Maybe a theme week when a hoilday rolls around. Maybe some cultural music playing in the background.
They do not have a family to pass down stories of past celebrations or to make new traditions. It isn’t like they are out in the public experiencing the county. They are locked up in an instituation and if they are lucky they get a peek of their birthland through a window or maybe the fence on the playground. That is NOT being exposed to culture, IMO.
The when they age out they are tossed out onto the streets so they can see all their country has to offer. Great way to experience lfe, huh?
Plus children with disabilites are seen as bad luck, in China anyway. No one will adopt a child that is less than ‘perfect’. Those children are treated as outcasts in THEIR country. How is that for culture? I watched a special one time about an organization that was overseas helping to repair cleft lips and palates. There was one child who was around 8 and had a cleft lip. His whole life he had worn a paper bag over his head cause of the way others treated him but at least he had his culture!
Randy, I know.
Our daughter at 17 months weighed 17 pounds.
Granted she will always be smaller cause that is just her build but even the Chinese doctors admitted she was undernourished to only be 17 pounds.

Is “love” the most abused word in the English language?

I ask because in the same breath I can say, “I LOVE this can of soda!” and, “I LOVE God!”

It seems like we need something else. Something else to describe how much we care for something…especially when it comes to our spouses and God.

I ask because I’m doing a sermon on this in two weeks…and I like how the Hebrews have many words that describe “love”. Especially the “love” that is built on a marriage. THIS love (“Raya”, “A’hava”, and “Dode”) are all built successfully off each other. With “Dode” being the sexual/pleasureable portion that comes WITH marriage (“A’hava” is the love between a husband and wife, and “Raya” is the love between friends).

Maybe I’m rambling here…but I think we abuse our “love” for things. I think the word needs to be broken up into other words.

We can assume our “love” is different…but wouldn’t a seperate word be clearer?

Thoughts?

Hope this helps!
Good luck, and may God continue to shine on you.
-Shalom